She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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