Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize