Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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