I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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