They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
