I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
