Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
