Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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