Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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