Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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