pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
