the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
