This girl is more easily done than said...
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
