I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
