When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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