I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
