Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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