I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
