there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'm passing your future prison.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
So vagazzling was a success
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
