not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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