You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
God, I missed his penis.
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