I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Randomize
