Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
