Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
as a side note pls kill me
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
