So drunk, too bad you don't want this
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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