I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
