this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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