oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
