I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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