Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
