i need an iv and a liver transplant
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
