Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
sarcasm needs its own font
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
