my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
