just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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