the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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