Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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