i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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