If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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