Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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