so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
