No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
do nipples grow back?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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