hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
