Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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