I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
