But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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