so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
