I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
