Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
