This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I think my moral compass just broke
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