Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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